Chronicles of Everyday Life
by vernajast
Summary: SasuNaru, NaruSasu lighthearted AU shorts. Somewhat connected, but can be read as one-shots, too. Sasuke and Naruto live in an ritzy condo together. Their relationship has its ups and downs, but in the end, they belong together, and they both show it in subtle ways. No angst if I can help it.
1. Have a Great Day!

**Have a Great Day!  
by vernajast**

_naruto x sasuke_

Sasuke Uchiha wasn't known for his patience, humor, or cheerful mood. He was the last person anyone would expect to have a perpetually gleeful closing like _Have a great day!_ built into his email signature.

_**"You're fired. Have a great day! Uchiha Sasuke, CEO."**_

Everyone knew _he_ didn't add it. A select few knew that the only reason it was even still there was because Naruto had gotten Shikamaru to password-protect the settings. Thus, Sasuke was forced to put on a cheerful face for the company despite his usual bitchy attitude.

_"Naruto, I hate you. Have a great day! Uchiha Sasuke, CEO."_

_"No, you don't. You love me, and you know it! Uzumaki Naruto, VP Operations."_

_"Not anymore. I want you out by morning. Have a great day! Uchiha Sasuke, CEO."_

_"Of course! By morning, I plan to be waking up next to __your__ sour face, not here at the office. Uzumaki Naruto, VP Operations."_

_"I want you __**out of the house**__. Have a great day! Uchiha Sasuke, CEO."_

_"The house I pay half the note for? Nope. Uzumaki Naruto, VP Operations."_

_"Fuck you. Have a great day! Uchiha Sasuke, CEO."_

_"I sorta planned on it being the other way around. Uzumaki Naruto, VP Operations."_

No reply.

_"Sasuke, you can't ignore me by email. Uzumaki Naruto, VP Operations."_

No reply.

_"Hey, seriously, you can't! That's not fair! Uzumaki Naruto, VP Operations."_

No reply.

A balled up piece of paper smacked Sasuke in the forehead, and he slowly rose from his seat. He glared over the rows of cubicles at the man whose desk was situated across the office from his own.

Naruto grinned and yelled, "See? You can't ignore me!"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched as their coworkers raised their heads to see what all the fuss was about. He rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to his computer.

_"I hate you. Have a great day! Uchiha Sasuke, CEO."_

[ . end ]

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**Note: While not exactly inspired by michelerene's The Demilitarized Zone, I couldn't help but think of it after the fact. It's a great story you guys should definitely go read!**


	2. Peace

_Warning for language, nothing else. SasuNaru. Universal in time period and setting. Slightly humorous, I hope._

* * *

**Peace  
****by vernajast**

_sasuke x naruto_

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

"Whatcha doin'?"

Two hands clamped down onto Sasuke's shoulders, but he kept his eyes stubbornly shut.

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

_Black, empty, nothing._

"Teme! Don't ignore me!"

Dark eyes opened slowly. When Sasuke turned his head the required number of degrees, his vision was filled with blurred blond and blue. "Meditating." _Trying to._

"Oh." Naruto let go of his shoulders and disappeared from view.

There was a general scrambling behind Sasuke that made him wince in expectation, but...nothing.

_Nothing. Think of nothing._

_Think of nothing._

_Think of nothing._

"But..."

A dramatic sigh. Eyes closed, leant back on flat palms pressed into the carpet, Sasuke waited for the rest of the sentence. The obvious hesitation was annoying. "Naruto, you-"

"But..._what_ are you doing? _How?_"

There would be no peace unless he answered. "I'm trying not to think."

"But..."

Sasuke braced for impact; the imagined sound of Naruto's brain grinding its gears was loud in his ears.

"But...if you try not to think...how do you know when you've done it? Um...I mean, how do you stop thinking about how you're not supposed to be thinking? Like...like if I decide not to think of ramen or training or something, I'm still thinking about it, right? Because I have to remember not to think about it. And what about..."

The man sitting on the floor let his counterpart go on until he could no longer manage to restrain the twitch at the corner of his eye. Now every time he tried to meditate, he would remember this conversation.

"You've ruined it."

He said it quietly, and then just as quietly rose to his feet and disappeared into their bedroom. After all, proper meditation required letting-go. Relaxing.

The truth was, Sasuke had never managed to do it.

[ . end ]


	3. October 10th

**October 10th  
****by vernajast**

_sasuke x naruto_

Sasuke leaned back against the countertop, arms crossed over his chest.

The teapot bubbled and gurgled on the stovetop.

The birds outside chirped.

The sun was too bright.

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, ears straining to hear over the birds and the boiling water and the ambient sounds of the clear summer day.

Ah.

There it was.

The creak of the mattress. A stumble. The steady stream of curses.

Sasuke silently counted in his head without bothering to open his eyes, and he had nearly reached twenty when his blond roommate...significant other..._whatever_ came barreling down the stairs from the upper floor of their shared condo.

"Hey! I was gonna use the pot! I need water for ramen! Sasuke! You know I always-" Whining and complaining, Naruto entered the kitchen like a hurricane, started opening and closing cabinets, rummaging through packages, and knocking shit over. Jeez, he really was like a big kid sometimes.

Sasuke just remained leaning against the counter, sure that Naruto's slow intellect would eventually catch up.

The blond turned on him and jabbed an accusing finger in Sasuke's face. "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT?!"

"What?"

"The last cup of ramen! I was saving that! Did you EAT IT?!"

"When have you ever seen me eat ramen in any form?" Sasuke rolled his eyes and glanced over at the countertop on the other side of the kitchen. Beside the stove sat the last cup of ramen, already half-open. The teapot began to whistle and spit drops of water and steam, and Sasuke shrugged and looked away from Naruto's astonished expression. "What? Make your damn ramen..."

Naruto stared at him just a few seconds longer before grabbing Sasuke up into a hug and spinning him around the kitchen. "You do love me!"

Before Sasuke knew what was happening, he was already planted firmly on the ground and Naruto's back was turned as he expertly prepared his treasured cup of morning noodles. His arms tingled with the imprint of Naruto's bear hug, the blond man's scent lingered around him, and Sasuke quietly allowed himself to acknowledge the stirrings of self-satisfaction. For all that he tried to keep his distance from other people, Naruto had made that nearly impossible, and today was one of those rare moments that the Uchiha could quietly thank whatever god might be listening for bringing him into his life.

Smiling faintly to himself, Sasuke crossed the small kitchen and wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist. He rested his chin on his lover's shoulder and whispered, "Happy Birthday."

[ . end ]


	4. How Sasuke Learned to Love Christmas

**How Sasuke Learned to Love Christmas  
by vernajast**

_naruto x sasuke_

After this weekend, if he _ever_ heard another jingle bell, he was going to shove it so far down the ringer's throat that they—

"Oof!" Sasuke groaned and ground his teeth as another parent lifted his filthy offspring up onto "Santa's" lap. The plastic chair groaned as the round little boy plopped down onto Sasuke's knee and started to bounce up and down. It took every ounce of self-control for the Uchiha not to shove the damn thing off his lap.

"Oh, c'mon, bas-_jerk_. Smile for the kids!"

An automatic glare in the blond idiot's direction only confirmed his suspicions; Naruto was laughing at him. That dumbass was so stupid he didn't even realize how ridiculous he looked in that lame, cartoonish reindeer costume.

"No." Sasuke rolled his eyes and stared at the camera when prompted. The little boy was rattling off some kind of toy list mostly consisting of video game cartridges and DVDs. God, did kids even watch DVDs anymore? He was pretty sure most people streamed movies over their Internet connections.

_Most people_ didn't include Naruto, of course. The dobe had a DVD collection that took up two bookshelves (when asked where the actual books that belonged on those shelves had gone, Naruto had just shrugged, a cryptic smile curling the corners of his lips). Naturally, they were all pornographic. Big Breasted Beach Babes, Hot Tub Hotties, Ranger Jane and the Amazonians...that one was particularly stupid, and none of them were worth the amount of money that idiot must have sunk into them. Not to mention, having been something like friends for the last ten years, he'd never seen any of the DVDs removed from the shelf. If he didn't know better, Sasuke would have sworn they were never watched, as if Naruto liked _the idea_ of porn better than actually watching it.

"...-ister! Hey, mister!" The same meatball kid was swaying side-to-side on Sasuke's knee; he was starting to get a cramp.

"What." It wasn't really a question. More like a dare. he dared the kid to do anything other than get off his damn leg.

"I know you're not _really_ Santa Claus—**duh!—**but when you go back to the North Pole to give your report make sure and tell him I've been good okay 'cause I really want those games 'cause they're awesome and last year he brought me a stupid football and—!"

"Fine." Sasuke pushed a little, hoping the boy would get the hint. Luckily, he did, and he slid awkwardly from "Santa's lap" to the ground. "I'll have him send you a bike, too. You need to do something other than play games now and then." He shot a look at the boy's dad for good measure. What were parents thinking letting their kids sit on their asses all day in front of the television. Not that he and Itachi had been any diff—_Che._ Never mind. It was best not to dwell on his own Christmas memories. He didn't want to worsen his mood (not when he _knew_ Naruto was bound to do it for him).

As he watched the round little boy and his father walk away, Sasuke wasn't surprised to feel a hand drop onto his shoulder as if on queue. "What do you want?"

"Sasuk_eeee_!"

Oh god, the whining. He was starting that already?

"Sasuk_eeee_, you never buy m_eeee_ video g_aaaaa_mes!"

Naruto's voice was a mixture of spoiled brat and amused teasing—and neither was completely an act, either. Sasuke had bought Naruto all sorts of things over the years, but he'd never once bought him a game for one of him many systems. It was bad enough that he'd had to put up with his playing at all times of the day and night and at all volumes over the three years they had been college roommates. He certainly wasn't going to bring home a new game and get him addicted all over again.

The giant clock at the center of the mall chimed. It was 1pm. Their volunteer shift was finally over. How they'd gotten roped into doing something so stupid Sasuke had yet to determine. It had something to do with Professor Hatake and his literature lesson on Charles Dickens, he knew that much. Naruto had commented that Sasuke was a complete Scrooge, just like the character, and then, somehow, he had been volunteered completely against his will to dress as Santa Claus for four hours of holiday hell. "Let's get out of here."

Naruto just laughed at him and followed him inside "Santa's House," a small changing room and place to stash their stuff. It was a real prefabricated house in the middle of the mall, just tall enough for both of them to stand inside, and with just enough space for them to take five or six steps in any given direction. They each peeled away the sweaty costumes and hung them on the hooks where they had found them. Given that both costumes had reeked of body odor before they even put them on, the odds that they would be washed before the next poor volunteer got stuck inside them for hours were low. _Too bad. _All Sasuke knew was that he was finally finished and he could just forget about the whole Christmas thing for another year.

"Hey, uh, Sasuke..."

Something about Naruto's voice caught Sasuke's attention and he looked up. "What? What's wrong?"

The expression on Naruto's face morphed from tentative and maybe a little scared to mischievous and sly as he stepped closer to his best friend. His eyes kept darting up to a spot above Sasuke's head.

"Is there a spider or something?" Sasuke's voice was monotone and stale. He was not in the mood for this.

Naruto took another tentative step forward. Apparently he wasn't quite sure about what he was doing, but he still planned to do it. "Look."

The tone of his voice was actually causing Sasuke a bit of concern. He'd never heard Naruto sound so serious, so he slowly raise his face toward the ceiling. There was some kind of leaf or plant or something hanging there. "What the hell is...oh."

_Mistletoe._

[ . end ]

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_A/N: Just another day in their lives together! They're not together yet in this one, though. :D **YET. **I haven't decided if they had sex in the little house or not...hm._


End file.
